August 8, 2010

Bristol Palin Annoys America With Another Kid That No One Cares About

JUNEAU, AK - (DoghouseDaily) - Bristol Palin has become pregnant yet again and America could hardly care less. The newbie was conceived in the back of a rusted 1995 Dodge pick-up truck parked in a McDonald's parking lot on the afternoon of June 4th. The father, 19-year-old Kirk Cramerton, is a freelance sea lion breeder and an employee at the McDonalds where his latest blessing was conceived. According to Cramerton, Bristol refused to use contraception during their thirty second miracle session.

"I told her that we should use protection and she threw a fit. Then she went into a tirade about how it would hurt her mother's political image," said Cramerton via closed-circuit radio at the McDonald's drive-thru window.

When asked for comment, the grandmother, Sarah, remarked, "I'm going to have another grandson! Whoopee! Dontcha know, all great Presidential candidates these days should be a grandparent" she said while pointing a cautious finger and making enticing facial contortions."

This boring, played out news piqued the interest of unemployed comedian Conan O'Brien. He dejectedly tweeted from his back patio that he has had it with the Palin family, emphasizing that even jokes about them became trite after 2008. "The Palins are about as entertaining as typos, big chins, and backstabbing automobile enthusiasts with Peppi le Pew hairstyles. Don't even get me started with that Chelsea Clinton and her latest matrimonial publicity stunt."