November 23, 2010

Sexual Assault On Bus Leads to William Madison's Expulsion

Hotel Heir Assaults Third-Grade Teacher On Bus
KNIBB, CA - (DoghouseDaily) - A third grader at Knibb Elementary School, William Madison, was arrested for sexually assaulting his teacher, Miss Veronica Vaughn, during a class field trip. While on a bus en route to Amish Acres Ranch and Stable, Billy (as his friends call him) reportedly walked up to Miss Vaughn on the bus to ask her a question. At that point, Billy feigned falling down and grabbed his teacher's breasts. Some students heard Billy audibly chastising the bus driver's driving, perhaps in an effort to mask his assault as a careless loss of balance.

Miss Vaughn reported the incident to the Knibb Elementary School principal Mr. Max Anderson. Principal Anderson, a former professional wrestler, turned the incident over to local law enforcement. He noted that Billy defended his assault of his teacher by saying that he was "double dared by a friend".

Billy is not new to the public spotlight. As the son of the Madison Hotels' chairman, Brian Madison, Billy is not likely to get any special treatment for the first time in his spoiled life. He will be charged with first-degree assault, will fail the third-grade, never "officially" graduate from school, and his father will be cutting him out of the Madison Hotels trust fund.

Billy has been rumored to be showing interest in becoming a football waterboy at a junior college in Louisiana.