January 15, 2013

*BREAKING NEWS* Justice Clarence Thomas Breaks Silence; Says, "I Just Farted, Everyone"

Justice Thomas Breaks Seven-Year Silence on the Bench by Announcing That He Ripped Ass

WASHINGTON, DC - (@The Comedy News) - "I just farted, everyone" will be the quote that Supreme Court scholars will be talking about for years.  It is the line that broke Justice Clarence Thomas' seven-year silence from the bench.

Since 2005, Justice Thomas has made $213,000 annually yet did not speak a word until he announced to the Supreme Court of the United States that he farted.  

Reporters inside the highest court in the land said that as the aura of Justice Thomas' flatulence spread throughout the court room, a number of green plants turned rapidly yellow. 

"Jesus fucking Christ, man!"  Exclaimed Justice Antonin Scalia once he caught a whiff of Justice Thomas' posterior plum.  "It smells like you just slaughtered an animal, Clar!"  Scalia stormed out of the chamber for the next thirty minutes.

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