February 2, 2011

Pauly Shore Celebrates 43rd Birthday at Local 7-Eleven

ENCINO, CA (The Comedy News) - Actor and comedian Pauly Shore celebrated his 43rd birthday on Tuesday by throwing an all-day party with random patrons at a 7-Eleven Convenience Store in Encino, California.

The day kicked off at 6:57 AM with Shore pounding on the glass doors of the convenient store urging them to open for business a few minutes early. Upon entering the 7-Eleven, Shore immediately rejoiced, hugged the bewildered store manager, and announced that it was his 43rd birthday. For the remainder of the day, Shore would purchase Fritos, hot dogs, hot pockets, and Slurpees for random customers.

"Hey. Hey. Hey! Ya know what today is, my friend? Today is my 43rd birthday!" Announced Shore approximately 293 times throughout the day, according to store manager Yusuf D'Al Pinto. "Welcome to my party, feel free to grab a drink and some nosh, it's all on me," Shore would tell 7-Eleven customers.

Many have speculated that Shore celebrated his birthday with random shoppers at 7-Eleven because he has run out of friends that can tolerate his aloof ramblings and hyper-SoCal dialect. He was intent on celebrating his birthday and knew there would be plenty of potential co-revelers at the local 7-Eleven.

Shore has been known for indulging in 7-Eleven cuisine both on and off the big screen. In his most notable role as an actor ---as the ultra-chill surfer dude hipster sidekick of Sean Astin in Encino Man--- Shore's most famous scene was where he put his mouth up to the Slurpee dispenser and proceeded to ingest the frozen fruit drink into his mouth. He would then defend it to the store clerk by saying, "I'm just weezin the ju'uce."

By 11:00 PM when the 7-Eleven was closing for the evening, Shore had racked up a tab of $38,345.93. The tab consisted mostly of Mountain Dew and TGI Fridays boxed poppers at the end of the day. One patron caught onto Shore's generosity and birthday delusion and asked if he could buy the store out of all condoms and AA batteries. Shore kindly obliged.

"Get this man some dick grip, and all of the Ahh Ahh batteries! Man, I'm so glad you could come out for my birthday," Shore told the greedy customer/birthday guest. "I see you have a Veteran of Foreign Wars hat. You know I was in the Army once."

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