February 28, 2011

Wisconsin Teacher Caught Spending Wastefully at Walgreens

FOX POINT, WI – (The Comedy News) – A public school teacher from Milwaukee, Wisconsin was caught wastefully spending at a local Walgreens store by an outraged eyewitness.
The teacher has been identified as Mr. Mark Spranderson, a 33-year-old fifth grade history teacher at Ellsworth Middle School. Onlookers were shocked to see that Spranderson was spotted buying items not only out of necessity, but some even for leisure.

“I am mortified,” lamented Michelle Nilap, a stay-at-home mother of Brookfield who is married to a local real estate developer. Nilap was the shopper who first reported the local school teacher's wasteful spending incident. "Who does Mr. Spranderson think he is? Wasting all of his money on Healthy Choice beef and potatoes, generic qtips, and---get this--- two whole sticks of Old Spice deodorant. He's a teacher, a public school teacher, he should not have time to use these things. Such a wasteful spender. Hrmph."

Outrage has spread recently about getting public school teachers to potentially take a pay cut to help offset the deficit of the state of Wisconsin's budget. Citizens such as Ms. Nilap have gone out of their way to blow the whistle on public school teachers who, in their opinion, are the cause of Wisconsin's financial woes."

"Cheap black dress socks? Oh come on," continued Nilap, who herself purchased a facial hair zapper that day. "Public school teachers should not be spending their salaries---which come straight from tax payers' pockets, like my husband---on cheap black dress socks. It's not like the teachers have enough money to go the elite parties and brunches that I go to anyways." 

In a somewhat unrelated incident, after the interview at Walgreens, Nilap discovered that her Range Rover had been towed because it was parked in a handicap parking space. Nilap theorizes that it was Mr. Spranderson who reported her illegally-parked vehicle.