December 19, 2011

Kim Jong-Un Refuses to Comment about Acting Career

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA - (@The Comedy News) - Kim Jong-Un, the presumptive heir to the North Korean Supreme Leadership throne, has kept quiet about his previous career as a Hollywood actor.

"Kim Jong-Un can neither confirm nor deny his role in the 2009 Oscar-nominated film, Up," announced Kim's publicist, William Morris.  

Entertainment writers have long-speculated that Kim did indeed play a supporting role in the film Up as Russell, a portly, jovial young kid with father issues that latches onto a senile old man named Carl Fredrickson--played by former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno.  

According to, there is no listing for Kim Jong-Un's brief acting career---most likely due to threats stemming from North Korean officials.

The rumor going around Hollywood has been that even though Kim's late father, Kim Jong-Il threatened producers to cast his son in the film Up, he also required producers to expunge all records of his son acting in the film---promising a nuclear holocaust upon the Western Hemisphere for noncompliance---excluding Canada, though, because hockey and curling are now the fastest growing sports in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. 

Still, the 28-year-old Kim's publicist is ambiguous with his statements about his life before politics.
"Let's just say, hypothetically, that Kim was an actor, arrrrright?" The publicist continued, as several large guns appeared pointed at his head.  "Let's say the young Kim was indeed a 245-pound jolly jelly-belly cream-puff fluff-muffin son-of-a-little-bitch actor with a smile as big as China---would you honestly think that at a time like right now, when his father just passed away, that he would start hogging the all the media attention?  C'mon!  You media-types are simply cruel, and you must be eliminated."