BLOOMINGTON, IND. - (@The Comedy News) - Former college basketball coach Bobby Knight turned 71 years old today, and carried out his annual tradition of screaming out his birthday candles.
"C'mon you chicken shit candles! Blow out, you don't have the guts!" Screamed the three-time national champion, nicknamed "The General". "Fizzle you sons of bitches! Yeah that's right, no more flame for you."
Coach Knight then proceeded to devour his cake, made mostly of of Oreos and frosting.
When asked about what he plans on doing to celebrate his latest birthday, Knight became agitated at reporters, screaming, "all of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.”