|Artist rendering of Limbaugh Bust|
MISSOURI - (@The Comedy News) - A preliminary design for the controversial Rush Limbaugh bust statue for the Missouri Hall of Fame has been modeled after the Big Ten Football Conference's "Heartland Trophy".
The Heartland Trophy, which has only been relevant for about eight years, features a fat useless hollow cow with no testicles, which artists believe will truly capture the essence of Rush Limbaugh.
"I believe the proposed Rush Limbaugh stone bust will be pound-for-pound, the most revered statue in our collection," announced the chief curator of the Missouri Hall of Fame bust committee.
The model for Limbaugh's bust serves as a trophy for the winner of the kinda-sorta irrelevant Wisconsin-Iowa football game. The Heartland trophy was created as an artificial means to establish a credible rivalry between the two teams in 2004. Like Limbaugh, the pseudo-rivalry is small but irritatingly loud and clamoring for attention and relevance.
When reached for comment, Limbaugh remarked that he "doesn't like trophies because trophies get passed around, and when you're passed around, willy-nilly, you're a slut and a prostitute..." The 61-year-old venom-spewing disk jockey continued for another minute and then concluded that the Heartland trophy did indeed resemble him quite well. At that point, he issued the artists an insincere apology, resumed injecting oxycodone into his temple, and proceeded to order a sawed-off shotgun on craigslist.