January 15, 2011

"NFL Sit 360" Encourages Fans To Just Sit And Watch Football For 6 Hours A Week

"360 Minutes of Sitting, Eating, and Just Watching TV." 

NEW YORK, NY - (@The Comedy News) - The National Football League is encouraging football fans of all ages to participate in its "NFL Sit 360" program by watching at least 360 minutes of football per week.

"Six hours per week. That's two full football games. That's all it will take for adults to be the lazy, unmotivated, out-of-shape fan we need them to be," an NFL spokesman told reporters. "We at the NFL believe it's important for our fans to commit a full 360 minutes to watching the beautiful game. Join "NFL Sit 360!"

Contrary to this, the NFL made headlines in 2010 by instituting "NFL Play 60", encouraging children to take part in sixty minutes of physical activity per day to combat childhood obesity. For many children, the "Play 60" program led to 420 minutes per week of physical activity which undoubtedly helped keep many children at an optimal weight.

There was a major problem for the NFL with their "Play 60" program. The 420 minute per week mandate that NFL "Play 60" advocated led to a 40% decrease in TV viewership and attendance for NFL football games. This was presumably because parents were driving and supervising their children during their activities, and children were developing interests that did not include sitting and watching NFL football games. From there, the NFL developed their "Sit 360" program.

The TV Commercial Transcribed reads:

"NFL 'Sit 360' wants you to take 360 minutes per week and set it aside. You can sit, lay down, eat, drink, and even surf the internet while you earn your minutes for NFL 'Sit 360'. We know you can do it. You don't even need to get out of bed. We need you do this. Really, we NEED you to. NFL Sit 360."

The primary spokesmen for the NFL "Sit 360" program are former Packers nose tackle Gilbert Brown, former Raider and Buccaneer Warren Sapp, and Super Bowl XX hero William "The Refrigerator" Perry of the Chicago Bears.