March 18, 2011

USA To Sell Coveted UN Security Council Vote On eBay

Economists Expect Sale of Permanent Veto Power To Help Offset  US Debt

NEW YORK, NY - (@TheComedyNews) - In the wake of United Nations sanctions against Libya, the United States of America is considering auctioning its coveted vote on the UN Security Council.

"The unprecedented sale of the United States' vote on the Security Council could fetch as much as $500 billion on eBay," predicts economist Norm Finklebauer.  "The escalating situation in Libya could make the value of the vote increase by as much as 25% over the next week.  If there's any time to sell, the time is now."

Experts are confident that the sale of the security council vote by the United States will certainly be a catalyst for economic growth---particularly fixing the national debt and current budget debate.  The billions of foreign dollars that would be injected into the US economy would have an instant impact. 

The UN Security council was founded at the beginning of the Cold War in 1946.  It consists of 15 nations with the power to vote on resolutions to promote international peace and stifle conflict between countries.

Five members of the UN Security Council are permanent and have coveted veto power:  United States, China, United Kingdom, France, and Russia.

Prospective bidders on the United States' UN Security Council Vote

--Some political clout on the global scale could get everyone to forget about that whole 2011 revolution thing. 

--South America's most populated nation will do anything to make their upcoming 2016 Summer Olympics a better time than any of the culturally bankrupt summer games in Beijing, Athens, Sydney, Atlanta, and Barcelona. 

United Kingdom 
--Two votes are definitely better than one.  The UK with two votes could help them relive their 'glory days' of global imperialism. 

Yoko Ono
--A UN Security Council vote could be the final piece to the puzzle for Ono to fulfill her late husband John Lennon's business model for world peace, outlined in the song 'Imagine'.