April 24, 2013

SURVEY: Why Am I Leaving Work Early?

A survey company asked 1,000 random Americans why they have sneaked out of work early over the past year.  The most common answers are listed below:  

  • Gotta get the best spot to stand at Fight Club.
  • Drug dealer asked me to hurry.
  • Mom's house, mom's rules.
  • Trying to impress parole officer with punctuality.
  • So no one I know sees me buying a ticket to see Scary Movie 5
  • Recreational softball is not 'just a game'.
  • Cats might get moody if I'm late for dinner again.
  • Must return red Ferrari before friends' dead-beat Dad notices it's missing.
  • Much easier to pad billable hours when no one is looking.
  • Wal-Mart having a going-out-of-business sale.
  • Attend Macaulay Culkin book-talk and autograph signing.
  • To throw some singles at the stripper before visiting the wife and kids.
  • To moonlight at our other subsistence wage job
  • To try to beat traffic, only to discover that everyone on the road did the exact same thing.
  • Got the extra hour off thanks to sequestration furloughs
  • To avoid having our boss give us 4 hours of last minute work at 4:55