June 12, 2013

If Shabbat Services Were A Guns N' Roses Concert...

Shabbat Services tend to have the same order of business:  the same opening prayers, sometimes a different melody here and there.  And the night always closes out with the same hits:  Aleinu and Adon Olam.  

And much like Shabbat Services, it seems as if arena rockers Guns N' Roses have been around forever, clinging to time-tested routines and hits that have galvanized the masses for years.  

After much deliberation, this is the official guide to Shabbat Services with the corresponding Guns N' Roses setlist:

Shabbat Services
Guns N' Roses
Barchu"Welcome to the Jungle"
Sh'ma"You Could Be Mine"
Vahavta"Night Train"
Michamocha"Civil War"
Avot; G'vurotSlash Guitar Solo
Silent PrayerInterlude; Thanking [insert city]
for being the best crowd ever.
Torah Blessing"Sweet Child O'Mine"
Sermon / AnnouncementsShameless promotion of new album nobody cares about.
Mourner's Kaddish"Knockin' on Heaven's Door"

(First Encore)
Aleinu"November Rain"

(Second Encore)
Adon Olam"Paradise City"

So the next time you are at a Guns N' Roses concert, shout "Yasher koach" in the direction of Axl Rose.  But only if that flaky drunk deserves it. 

Oh and by the way, Slash the guitarist ---whose birth name is Saul Hudson---is Jewish.

Axl Rose leading Shabbat services