"I knew it was Jill Pearson," congregant Jonathan Weinfeurter griped. "Every time I go to services, no matter where I am in the sanctuary, I can hear her staccato voice polluting the air."
Other congregants note that Jill often chides the service leaders' performance behind their backs following services. And in addition to looking around mid-song to see if anyone is marveling at her over-produced audible chanting from the pews, Jill also tweets her vocal pride:
"@DayenuDiva613: Adam Levine may got moves like Jagger, but I got a voice like God."
No
congregant could confirm what Jill's musical training has been---likely
due to no decent soul being capable of tolerating her blatant
narcissism.
However, a quick
Google-search has shown that Jill has been a classically-trained singer
since age 4, has auditioned for season 2 of The Voice, studied at the
Julliard School in New York, and even sung the Star Spangled Banner at a Dallas Cowboys football game.
Still, after all of those accolades, Jill still can't resist the urge to show off her self-proclaimed "voice that flows like wine", even during modest opportunities such as Shabbat.
Still, after all of those accolades, Jill still can't resist the urge to show off her self-proclaimed "voice that flows like wine", even during modest opportunities such as Shabbat.
It was also reported that the only time during the entire service that Jill's melodic caterwauling
was not heard was during the reciting of the Shemah. It was later
revealed that at that time, Jill was Instagramming a selfie with her free hand over her
eyes, winking.
