--BREAKING NEWS--
CHICAGO, IL - (@The Comedy News) - After over 300 years on the banks of what used to be known as the Detroit River, the entire city of Detroit has completely re-located to Chicago.
The big D, also known as The Motor City, has been staving off bankruptcy for several years now. City officials, however, see a permanent move of the entire city to Chicago as a lasting economic catalyst.
The Detroit emergency manager described the move.
"Honestly, there wasn't much left to move----some unused Little Caesars pizza boxes, an Eminem CD, a few Stanley Cup Trophies, a dilapidated but still-working Ford factory. When you have almost nothing, you have nothing to lose, right?"
"Honestly, there wasn't much left to move----some unused Little Caesars pizza boxes, an Eminem CD, a few Stanley Cup Trophies, a dilapidated but still-working Ford factory. When you have almost nothing, you have nothing to lose, right?"
At the closing ceremony for Detroit's original location, Kid Rock sang a sad and ironic rendition of the song, "God Bless America".
Currently, the Detroit evacuees are taking refuge at the mostly-vacant trophy room of the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field---until a permanent settlement can be arranged.
