September 30, 2010

Law Professor to Teach Controversial "Honesty-Only" Policy

COLUMBIA, MO - (The Comedy News) - A local law professor is coming under intense scrutiny for planning to teach an "honesty-only" curriculum this fall. Professor Jeremy Bernard, a University of Missouri Law School professor, contends honesty has long been disparaged in the field of law. He has vowed to lecture "honesty-only" in his classes, regardless of the uproar of fury in the overprotective parents of law students.

"Legal professionals for centuries have been chided for lacking a sense of honesty," Professor Bernard declared. "Although they know that their success in the law field will be limited at best, my pupils will be the most honest lawyers the world has ever seen. "

Many figures in the legal world fear that if more professors begin to teach "honesty-only", it could be the end of obscure, irrational, and completely untrue-but-let's-go-with-it legal statements.

Several parents of law students have refused to allow their offspring to attend "honesty-only" law classes. Martha Baker, the mother of 28-year-old second-year law student Sharon Baker, expressed her disapproval Professor Bernard's curriculum.

"We don't want to expose our young lawyers-to-be to the sheer filth that honesty in law brings. 'Honesty-only' will undoubtedly lead to inept, idealistic mindsets by the people hired to be experts on the law," the furious mother shouted while picketing outside Mizzou's main law building. "My little girl Sharon will NOT be exposed to that demonic Professor Bernard's blatant honesty---and in a public school, no less. Hrmph."

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