September 28, 2010

Bankrupt Detroit Relocates to Chicago


CHICAGO, IL - (@The Comedy News) - After over 300 years on the banks of what used to be known as the Detroit River, the entire city of Detroit has completely re-located to Chicago.

The big D, also known as The Motor City, has been staving off bankruptcy for several years now.  City officials, however, see a permanent move of the entire city to Chicago as a lasting economic catalyst.  
The Detroit emergency manager described the move.

"Honestly, there wasn't much left to move----some unused Little Caesars pizza boxes, an Eminem CD, a few Stanley Cup Trophies, a dilapidated but still-working Ford factory.  When you have almost nothing, you have nothing to lose, right?"

At the closing ceremony for Detroit's original location, Kid Rock sang a sad and ironic rendition of the song, "God Bless America".  

Currently, the Detroit evacuees are taking refuge at the mostly-vacant trophy room of the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field---until a permanent settlement can be arranged.