April 5, 2012

Horace Grant to be Spokesman for Google's Next Invasion of User Privacy

Horace Grant sporting his Google Goggles
"Google Goggles:  Who Needs Privacy When You Have the Eyes of a Champion?"

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - (@The Comedy News) - Former NBA star Horace Grant is the new spokesman for Google's latest invasion of user privacy---the Google Goggles.

"As the world's most famous wearer of oversize novelty glasses, I think Google Goggles are a slam dunk!"  Grant announced as part of Google's advertising campaign.  "Now, with Google Goggles, you can look like a 4-time champion!   Who needs privacy when you have the eyes of a champion?"

Nicknamed 'Project Glass', Google expects its revolutionary goggles to invade users privacy more than ever.  

Google's business model seems to do more than just invade peoples lives with still-photos and video footage.  Google hopes that the Goggles can literally see the unique view that users have only recorded in the privacy of their own minds.   
"De-privatize your brain.  Share your secrets.  Google Googles."  ---Horace Grant
The newest television advertisement for the Google Goggles begins over a black screen to the sounds of 'Sirius' by the Alan Parsons Project":
"Horace Grant.  True Patriot.  Born on the Fourth of July [in 1965].  Don't you wanna SEE like HORACE?  Try the Google Goggles.  You  may not score very much or at all, but it will definitely give you the ASSIST you need in life."
Google expects the Goggles to fail and be discontinued by December of 2012.