November 15, 2010

Wisconsin Basketball Team Scores First Touchdown In Indiana Blowout

Football Team Turns to Basketball Players For Backups

MADISON, WI - (DoghouseDaily) - As the Wisconsin Badgers football team led the Indiana Hoosiers 59-13 in the third quarter on Saturday, Coach Bret Bielema put players from the men's basketball team in to play out the rest of the game.

"We had exhausted our entire depth chart on the football squad. The third and fourth team guys were tired from scoring touchdown after touchdown all afternoon, so we had to get a little creative with our players," remarked Wisconsin football Coach Bret Bielema. "[Men's Basketball Coach] Bo Ryan's got some of the most versatile athletes ever on the Badgers' basketball team, they were all in the stadium, so I gave Bo the signal to suit-up the boys in helmets and pads."

Players from the men's basketball team were seen between the third and fourth quarters hustling to get into the football attire, obviously too small or too large for most of them. Senior forward, Jon Leuer took the snaps at quarterback, and looked quite comfortable in setting back to pass. Within only a few minutes, the six-foot ten-inch Leuer completed the first touchdown pass by a basketball player in NCAA history. Leuer's pass was caught by center J.P. Gavinski, who sprinted his six-foot eleven-inch tall body 64 yards for the touchdown as he towered over the crippled Indiana Hoosiers defensive backs.

Men's basketball coach Bo Ryan made his NCAA football coaching debut as offensive coordinator, when Paul Chryst handed him the playbook at the beginning of the fourth quarter. Coach Ryan, known for drawing up intricate last-second plays on the basketball court, was not new to calling plays on the football field---he was quarterback for the Chester High School Clippers football team in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

"On my basketball team, my players are taught to be prepared for everything, even fifth-string football. I firmly believe that three-pointers and free-throws are not the only points a Wisconsin Badgers basketball player should be focused on. He should know how to throw a perfect spiral, spot the placekicker, and run for quick first downs. The big thing I beat into my players' heads is that in football, if you score, it's worth up to six points at a time. And in this economy, we need all the numbers we can get."

Most fans were oblivious to the personnel changes on the football field since the substitutions took place while the 80,000-plus fans in Camp Randall Stadium were dancing to House of Pain's "Jump Around".

The NCAA declined to lead an investigation into Coach Bielema and Coach Ryan allowing basketball players to play in a regulation football game, citing that the antics in Madison this past weekend were "simply too awesome to punish."