Romney Campaign Unveils "Gaffe Proof" Teleprompter for Next Presidential Debate
DENVER, COLORADO - (@TheComedyNews) - After
the debate last Wednesday, the Romney campaign unveiled its latest tool
from their presidential candidate by default sandbox: a supposed "gaffe
proof" teleprompter. The crude design is simply two etch-a-sketch units
super glued together and duct taped around a mic stand.
teleprompter, which sources close to the campaign say is designed to
keep Romney's responses within time limit and on message during the
debates, is comprised of two messages. One reads "sorry=bad" while the
other reads "no specifics." And if that's
not enough, two secondary etch-a-sketches are on stand-by and read, "You
are rubber, Bush is glue" and "blame B. Hussein Obama."
teleprompters are seen by many as an example of the type of fiscal
spending the Romney presidency could bring to Washington. Representative
Darrel Issa agreed by saying, "Romney's campaign has saved more money by
following conservative policies, while the POTUS has a tax payer-funded
$2000-a-day burn rate----- and that's just for shopping sprees and Bieber tickets for the FLOTUS
and those two children of theirs."
Romney camp hopes the prompters will ensure facts and correct context
will be injected into the debates. Fears have been growing in the
campaign that Romney's words and postmortem jokes taken as actual
statements by news affiliates will be treated with the same prejudice
Barack Obama receives when he uses a teleprompter for speeches.
Obama campaign lobbied a weak counter argument, similar to the
President's debate performance, to this momentous presidential race
shake-up by issuing the following statement: "teleprompters aren't
typically used in debates but....okay, fine."
Either way you slice it, the second
presidential debate just got more DVR worthy.