December 5, 2010

Badger Fans Research Ways To Taunt TCU At Rose Bowl

Texas Christian University Wikipediaed 101,237 Times In Wisconsin

MADISON, WI - (The Comedy News) - Immediately following the official announcement of their invitation to the Rose Bowl game, thousands of Wisconsin Badgers football fans looked to Wikipedia to get information about the Badgers' opponent, the Texas Christian University Horned Frogs.

"I'm going to the Grand Daddy of 'Em All, the Rose Bowl!" Rejoiced Darren Holland, a sophomore at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. "Whenever the Badgers football team takes the field, it's my duty as a fan to be the most clever, cunning, condescending jerk to the opposing team. When I found out Bucky and the Badgers were playing TCU, I wondered, 'well, they're Christian, they're from Texas, their frogs have horns on them. That could be enough for a vulgar t-shirt and some acrostic poems for poster signs at the game, but I better do some more research.' So like the rest of Badger nation, I went to the most comprehensive source of info: Wikipedia."

Since Texas Christian University is a member of the mediocre-at-best Mountain West Conference, its prominence in the national spotlight has been limited. Wisconsin has proudly been a meddling member of the Big Ten Conference, a highly-competitive and decorated athletic powerhouse known for its ruthless and oftentimes cannibalizing lampoonery of any challengers.

Top Five Must-Know TCU Facts for Wisconsin Football Fans:
  1. TCU Horned Frogs' jerseys are purple. Purple is the color of the Minnesota Vikings.
  2. TCU is in Fort Worth, Texas. Many Badgers fans will spend an obscene amount of unplanned time in Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport as their connecting flights are purposely delayed en route to Los Angeles.
  3. The only prominent alumnus of TCU is billionaire John White, founder of 1-800-FLOWERS. This must be how they snaked their way into the Rose Bowl.
  4. US News & World Report ranks TCU in their "Top Tier" of National Universities. Pff, "Top Tier" doesn't mean anything these days. AT&T is in the "Top Tier" of phone service providers. And AT&T is lousy at best. Where is AT&T based? In Dallas. Dallas is just down the road from Fort Worth. And Fort Worth is the home of TCU.
  5. Wisconsin has already played in twice as many Bowl Championship Series football games as TCU: two.

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